Finish strong.

Editor’s note: Westbank legend and guest poster has dropped another hit.

In a period of about five years, New Orleans has had the “Big One”(Katrina), a snowy white xmas, and now, yes – we are going the muthaforking Superbowl. It’s funny because people have been saying the sentence “the Saints are going to the Superbowl” for 40 years as a joke, but I heard it today on the radio and I was like, “oh yeah, it’s real.” Ha – not a joke this time.

At the end of last season, there was a lot of frustration about having a good team that wasn’t going anywhere and my friend SupaSaint(yes, the superfan SupaSaint) decided to express himself throught the medium of film(as he is inclined to do).

So this wasn’t really my baby creatively, I was just the stunt coordinator. Credit is due to Supa and Nate Tape for putting this thing together and making it look so great. We shot it in this huge abandoned warehouse on the water in New Orleans East. We totally did NOT have permission to shoot there. When the harbor police showed up, we just told them we were making a video for the Saints and I guess we looked professional enough(with  lights, a camera crane, and a full crew). The cops were like, “Oh, cool.” The stunt was really scary and I had to rig this rope swing that pendulumed out to almost 90 degrees. The first place I tried to anchor it was an electronic booth in the ceiling of the warehouse, but a gigantic owl that lived there flipped out on me and almost bit my face off. I ended up rigging somewhere else. Of course, I performed the stunt myself before Supa attempted it to guarantee safety.

Here’s the project:

If you can’t tell, it was inspired by this legendary scene from the movie Footloose, when Kevin Bacon’s character Ren is frustrated in a town where dancing is illegal. Check it out:

Pretty reverent, eh?

This is what the Mississippi River looks like in Itasca Lake in Minnesota. Little kids can walk across it.

From there, it continues on through the marshy woods, shallow and skinny, winding through forests and wetlands.

It’s quite a haul to do the whole thing(2320 miles from almost Canada to the Gulf of Mexico). It drains 31 states and its tributaries bring water water from the Rockies in the west and the Appalachians in the east.

I got this Twainian idea to do the whole thing when I heard about New Orleans native and scientist, Marcus Eriksen. Here he is chillaxing in a pile of plastic bottles.

I read his book My River Home(which I picked up at the library).He went to UNO, worked at the Audubon zoo, and was a marine in the first Persian Gulf war. When he came back home, he decided to make a vessel out of trash(mostly bottles) that he piloted down the entire length of the river. Here’s his river boat:

After doing the river, he later sailed a junk sailboat from L.A. to Hawaii, but that’s another ball of wax.

The book was pretty cool and if you don’t have a library card, I highly recommend getting one. It’s free, they have EVERYTHING, and your not stuck with a book to get rid of after you read one.

Now on the subject of paddling the entire river, alot of people think it’s really dumb and dangerous, but the truth is that a handful of people do it every year in canoes or kayaks. The upper river isn’t bad at all with the exception of huge locks, dams, and a few rapids here and there. In fact, alot of people swim across the river or down it. I personally know a guy named Tommy Staub who swam across at the Fly. He was fine, but by the time he got to the other side, he was too tired to make it back, so he made a phone call and had someone pick him up on the westbank. This guy John Ruskey swims across in Memphis with snorkel fins and a mask:

And then there is Martin Strel. He’s a Slovenian swimmer who has swam the entire length of the Mississippi, the Danube, the Yangtze, and the Amazon. Talk about a beast. Just the pollution in the Yangtze is supposed to be off the charts.

Check him out in action. He sleeps 5 hours a day while swimming rivers and it takes him 7 months to recover after completion.

Imagine being on the water for months and finally pulling into rivertown in Kenner. Make sure you stop and check out the statues that commemorate the first heavyweight championship prize fight in the United States. Bare-knuckle of course.

Don’t believe me? Read the plaque.

So I don’t know when I’ll have time to do the whole river, but I am actively looking for a partner who will paddle from the Fly to the French Quarter with me(Taylor? Tara?). It’s a start.

I haven’t given much thought to the new decade that is upon us(save for my year end posts of Colonial Handjobs and Alabama Snow Skiing), but I do know that even if it is blisteringly cold for New Orleans, there is still adventure to be had out there.

The year in review:

If 2009 has taught us anything, it is that the term “swagger” is now exclusively used to describe NFL teams.

Also, Keeping up with the Jetsons, played in a few film fesitvals. The Buttons music video Roller Rock, and other posts on this site received national attention on StreetCarnage.com

Our crunchy artist friends at the Monster Treehouse, got on the cover of Gambit this week. Speaking of Gambit, Blake Pontchartrain mentioned NOadventure in an article this year about the Underground Bomb Shelter we spelunked. BTW, Buried Alive, the documentary we made, played at the Docufest Film Festival in Atlanta.

Dan Fox mentioned NOadventure in a great article in Antigravity Magazine.

More importantly, this site had almost 95,000 hits in 2009. We absolutely murdered 2008(not that it was hard).

Thanks to all the guest posters and friends: Jessy, Pearce, Nina, Jimmy, Natalie, Francine, Taylor, James, Shayne, Chris, John, Kevin, Barry, Jenni, Iran, Dave, Nate, Butttons, Ballzack & Odoms.

Tara, George, and Jay – I’m still waiting for your contributions.

If you’ve seen one of these stickers around town and you want one, HOLLER – I’ll hook you up.

Lastly, I will begin letting everyone know about new posts on Twitter. Follow me @noadventure of course.

Live your life.

As seen on STREETCARNAGE.COM

Editor’s note: Guest documentarians Floyd Tickleson and Ernie Redbottom tell us about the history of the Northshore’s Cane Bayou.

I remember the first time I had heard of Cloudmont. I grew up fortunate enough to take snowboarding trips all around North America – Whistler, Park City, Vail. Weeks before one of these trips of my youth, when the internet was in its early days, I looked at a list of clickable states on a ski conditions site.

Alabama?

Of course I had to click.  I saw that there was one lonely “resort” by the name of Cloudmont. There were, of course, reviews of the resort online where anonymous smartass posters left knee-slappers like, “Forget the Alps, Cloudmont has the best powder!” As the southernmost skiing area in the U.S., Cloudmont boasts that you can golf and ski in the same day – which is unique, at least, if not desirable.

Watch these rednecks ski – I love how she stops.

The ski season is tentatively from xmas time to around March, depending on how cold it is. Ninety percent or more of the snow here is machine blown and as you can imagine, warm weather is a constant problem. The vertical drop from the peak to the bottom of the lift is nothing to write home about, but then again, this is the closest skiing/riding to New Orleans at just under 7 hours.

Worst night skiiers ever at Cloudmont:

This kid isn’t so terrible:

Years later, I actually visited the resort in the summer time while rock climbing in the area. It looked pretty much like I thought it would. BTW, there are chalets to rent at Cloudmont, but no restaurant. There is, however, a snack bar; yes – they have nachos.

If you are willing to drive a little further, I hear Ober Gatlinburg in the Smoky Mountains is more like a “real” ski resort, but gets stupid crowded during the holidays. Now, I’m not suggesting you go to either of these places as a ski/snowboard vacation, but they might be worth looking into if you were going camping in Great Smoky Mountains National Park or climbing up at Sand Rock in northern Alabama.

Some photos from Ober:

Whatever you choose to do, please help me in trying to convince the Cloudmont staff that they should sell t-shirts and stickers that read “SKI BAMA.”

During this holiday season, you may find yourself at a party or social event. In order to rock the mother-effing house, you must remember to be yourself, feel the music, and let your body be an expression of that music.

YOU

CAN’T

TEACH

THIS.

Looks like somebody’s getting laid tonight.

Don’t be a Shy Ronnie. Overcome your fears by jumping in head first. In fact, don’t be afraid to be weird. If you hear a Mr. Oizo/Kid Sister/Daft Punk mash, capitalize on it.

Perhaps two little people will get into a dance battle. Encourage them both(even though one kinda blows and has not really worked on his breakdancing fundamentals)!

Point: You are no spring chicken – seize the day.

(Thanks to StreetCarnage some content).